EMergency by Michka and Maverick
by Michka
Summary: Blair has a problem. Jim is amused. Will someone be sleeping on the couch?


> Fan Fiction - The Sentinel  
Characters - Blair, Jim  
Rating - PG (J/B relationship implied)  
Spoilers - None  
Category - Humor  
Archive: Sure, just include a link back to http:www.angelfire.com/wa2/cascadePD  
  
  
Disclaimer: Blair Sandburg and Jim Ellison belong to Pet Fly, Paramount, and are currently Rent-Boys for SCI-FI. We claim NO rights to them, or THE SENTINEL and no profit will be made from this work.  
  
Author's Note: DA wrote Blair and Mav wrote Jim  
ALSO, please do NOT send e-mail to the e-mail addys in this story, even if your browser shows them as active accounts. They aren't. Really. Trust us. Thanks! 
> 
> E-Mergency  
by  
DarkAngel and Maverick  
February 1, 2001  

> 
>   
  
*************************************************   
To: JJEllison@CPD.gov  
From: BlairSandburg@RainierU.edu  
  
SUBJECT: URGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
JIM!!!!!  
  
I am missing all my notes for the middle two chapters of my dissertation.  
I was editing the notes last night. They were all over the couch and now they're GONE!  
Everything! Please, tell me you did something with them.  
  
Oh my God, I didn't have any copies of that stuff.  
  
I don't know what I'm gonna do! Oh man, don't tell me you threw them away. Only you couldn't 'cause I checked all the trash before I left.  
  
E-Mail me back ASAP, okay?  
  
Blair  
*************************************************  
  
To: BlairSandburg@RainierU.edu  
From: JJEllison@CPD.gov  
  
SUBJECT: Calm Down  
  
_- JIM!!!!!  
_  
Blair!  
  
_- I am missing all my notes for the middle two chapters of my dissertation._  
  
What dissertation?  
  
_- I was editing the notes last night. They were all over the couch and now they're GONE!  
_  
How odd. You left them scattered around a place that is NOT a desk, and they disappeared. Hmm.  
  
_- Everything! Please, tell me you did something with them._  
  
What's it worth to you?  
  
_- Oh my God, I didn't have any copies of that stuff._  
  
You know you could use the computer, and back up your files.  
  
_- I don't know what I'm gonna do! Oh man, don't tell me you threw them away. Only you couldn't 'cause I checked all the trash before I left.  
_  
ALL the trash? Are you sure?  
  
_- E-Mail me back ASAP, okay?  
_  
I don't know, I'm kinda busy today.  
  
J  
*************************************************  
  
To: JJEllison@CPD.gov   
From: BlairSandburg@RainierU.edu  
  
SUBJECT: TEASER!  
  
Jim -   
  
_- What dissertation?  
_   
Oh my God that is SOOO NOT funny right now, Jim.  
  
_- How odd. You left them scattered around a place that is NOT a desk, and they disappeared. Hmm.  
_  
Don't weird out on me man! You know I always edit on the couch since you said you couldn't stand me cluttering up the table. Jeez, what do you want?  
  
_- What's it worth to you?  
  
_How 'bout if you tell me, I won't kill you???  
  
_- You know you could use the computer, and back up your files.  
  
_Give me a break here, man! They were just NOTES Jim! I'm not ready to write with them yet!  
When I do, THEN I'll have something to back up. If I took the time to put ALL of my notes in the  
computer, THEN write, it would take me twenty years to write this thing.  
  
_- ALL the trash? Are you sure?  
_   
YES! I mean it, Jim, don't play with me here. I am seriously having an anxiety attack.  
  
_- I don't know, I'm kinda busy today.  
_  
You are SOOO going to be sleeping on the couch tonight, I swear!  
  
I still love you though.  
  
Come on, babe, where'd you put my notes?  
Blair  
*************************************************  
  
To: BlairSandburg@RainierU.edu  
From: JJEllison@CPD.gov  
  
SUBJECT: Me, tease?  
  
Sandburg  
  
_- Oh my God that is SOOO NOT funny right now, Jim.  
_  
Actually, it is. You just can't see it. Simon and I are cracking up. Even Connor thought it was pretty funny.  
  
_- Don't weird out on me man!_  
  
Don't weird out. Don't zone out. Broken record, Chief.  
  
_- You know I always edit on the couch since you said you couldn't stand me cluttering up the table. Jeez, what do you want?  
_  
It's not the editing I mind, so much as the clutter.  
  
_- How 'bout if you tell me, I won't kill you???_  
  
Oh, settle down. I can hear your panting from here.  
  
_- Give me a break here, man! They were just NOTES Jim! I'm not ready to write with them yet!  
_  
I thought you did your notes on that recorder?  
  
_- When I do, THEN I'll have something to back up. If I took the time to put ALL of my notes in the computer, THEN write, it would take me twenty years to write this thing.  
_  
So, how long do you think it will take?  
  
_- YES! I mean it, Jim, don't play with me here. I am seriously having an anxiety attack.  
_  
I know, and I'm trying hard not to laugh out loud.  
  
_- You are SOOO going to be sleeping on the couch tonight, I swear!  
_  
Hey, who's bed is it?  
  
_- I still love you though.  
_  
Good. I love you too.  
  
_- Come on, babe, where'd you put my notes?  
_  
All the stuff that was on the couch is in an accordion folder, in the bottom right drawer of the desk. You know, the drawer I told you you could use for this stuff?  
  
Relax. Everything is there. I just picked it up.  
  
Jim  
*************************************************  
  
To: JJEllison@CPD.gov  
From: BlairSandburg@RainierU.edu  
  
SUBJECT: GET BACK TO WORK!  
  
Jim -   
  
_- Actually, it is. You just can't see it. Simon and I are cracking up. Even Connor thought it was pretty funny.  
_  
Don't TELL everybody! What, is there NO crime in Cascade today?? ALL of Major Crimes division has nothing better to do than laugh at my crisis? Lovely. No wonder the tax payers are disgruntled.  
  
_- Don't weird out. Don't zone out. Broken record, Chief.  
  
_Well if you'd listen too me, I wouldn't have to keep saying it.  
  
_- It's not the editing I mind, so much as the clutter.  
_  
There HAS to be clutter during editing, Jim. That's like saying, I don't mind the target shooting, it's the spent shells that bug me.  
  
_- Oh, settle down. I can hear your panting from here.  
_  
You probably can, you jerk! Quit eavesdropping on my pain here.  
  
_- I thought you did your notes on that recorder?  
_  
No, no, no, no, no, no! Those are my OBSERVATIONS, those go INTO my notes, but my notes are MUCH more than that. Damn, Jim, I learned your job, can't you at least try to understand mine?  
_  
- So, how long do you think it will take?  
  
_Just one more week, man, I swear.  
  
_- I know, and I'm trying hard not to laugh out loud.  
_  
I can feel the love over here.  
  
_- Hey, who's bed is it?  
_  
Oh fine.** I'll** sleep on the couch then, is that what you want? I'll sleep on the couch, and I'll sing Machti war chants to put myself to sleep. Think that'll work for ya? Maybe burn some white sage to purify the place, yeah.  
  
_- Good. I love you too.  
_  
Then why do you DO these things to me man?? You know I can't handle uncertainty, Jim.  
  
_- All the stuff that was on the couch is in an accordion folder, in the bottom right drawer of the desk. You know, the drawer I told you you could use for this stuff?  
_  
You couldn't have left me a note? What? Is this supposed to be a lesson or something?  
Jim, you're giving me high blood pressure, here.  
  
- _Relax. Everything is there. I just picked it up.  
_  
Well thank you. How did you know I wasn't still using that stuff?_  
_  
Blair  
*************************************************  
  
To: BlairSandburg@RainierU.edu  
From: JJEllison@CPD.gov  
  
SUBJECT: Police work is serious business  
  
_- Don't TELL everybody!  
_  
Oh, okay. I'll see if I can stop H before he posts it on the bulletin board.  
  
_- What, is there NO crime in Cascade today??  
_  
Amazing, isn't it?  
  
_- ALL of Major Crimes division has nothing better to do than laugh at my crisis?  
_  
Pretty much. It's the highlight of our day. "Hey, guess what Hairboy did this time?" We're thinking of making it a regular column in the newsletter.  
  
_- Lovely. No wonder the tax payers are disgruntled.  
_  
This has nothing to do with them. They're getting their money's worth. We cut a deal with the newspaper. Public service, all that.  
  
_- Well if you'd listen too me, i wouldn't have to keep saying it._  
  
Maybe if you didn't say it so often that it became a mantra, I'd listen more.  
  
_- There HAS to be clutter during editing, Jim. That's like saying, I don't mind the target shooting, it's the spent shells that bug me.  
_  
Difference here, Chief - I pick up my shells when I'm done. It's called policing the area.  
  
_- You probably can, you jerk! Quit eavesdropping on my pain here._  
  
Oh, sure, spoil my fun. It's the only joy I get out of life.  
  
_- No, no, no, no, no, no! Those are my OBSERVATIONS, those go INTO my notes, but my notes are MUCH more than that. Damn, Jim, , I learned your job, can't you at least try to understand mine?  
_  
Mine is much less confusing. We don't have, for instance, stake outs, then the other kind of stake outs, then something like stakeouts but that aren't, and then preliminary investigations, and proposed investigations, and then the actual investigations, first draft.  
  
_- Just one more week, man, I swear.  
_  
Uh huh. I've heard that one before.  
  
_- I can feel the love over here.  
_  
I'll give you something to feel....  
  
_- Oh fine. ** I'll** sleep on the couch then, is that what you want?  
_  
No.  
  
_- I'll sleep on the couch, and I'll sing Machti war chants to put myself to sleep. Think that'll work for ya?  
_  
Dunno. Think it'll work for you to sleep on the balcony?  
  
_- Maybe burn some white sage to purify the place, yeah.  
_  
Maybe you'd rather find someone else to study?  
  
_- Then why do you DO these things to me man?? You know I can't handle uncertainty, Jim._  
  
That's pretty much why, right there.  
  
_- You couldn't have left me a note? What? Is this supposed to be a lesson or something?  
_  
Would I do that?  
  
_- Jim, you're giving me high blood pressure, here.  
_  
Uh huh.  
  
_- Well thank you. How did you know I wasn't still using that stuff?  
_  
I figured, if you were using it, you'd be sitting there on the couch, instead of snoring in the bed.  
  
See you tonight.  
  
J  
*************************************************  
  
To: JJEllison@CPD.net  
From: BlairSandburg@RainierU.Edu  
  
SUBJECT: No, REVENGE is serious business  
  
_- Oh, okay. I'll see if I can stop H before he posts it on the bulletin board.  
_  
You BETTER, Ellison  
  
_ - Amazing, isn't it?  
_  
Yeah. lucky me  
  
_- Pretty much. It's the highlight of our day. "Hey, guess what Hairboy did this time?" We're thinking of making it a regular column in the newsletter.  
_  
Oh you're funny. You should be in the circus. I'll kill you all.  
  
_- This has nothing to do with them. They're getting their money's worth. We cut a deal with the newspaper. Public service, all that.  
_  
Oh jeez, corruption at the highest levels  
  
_- Maybe if you didn't say it so often that it became a mantra, I'd listen more.  
_  
** *SIGH*  
**  
_- Difference here, Chief - I pick up my shells when I'm done. It's called policing the area.  
_  
It's called ANAL RETENTIVE, and I CAN'T work that way, Jim!  
  
_- Oh, sure, spoil my fun. It's the only joy I get out of life.  
_   
Oh, okay, well if it's such a thrill I'll pant more then. Jerk.  
  
_- Mine is much less confusing. We don't have, for instance, stake outs, then the other kind of stake outs, then something like stakeouts but that aren't, and then preliminary investigations, and proposed investigations, and then the actual investigations, first draft.  
_  
Well that's 'cause you guys aren't SCIENTISTS!  
  
_- Uh huh. I've heard that one before.  
_  
Uh, you have??? Um, three days, then, just three days man, I'll be history. I mean it this time. Really. Trust me.  
  
_- I'll give you something to feel....  
_  
Oh yeah? Well I admit, that peaks my curiosity.  
  
_- No.  
_  
Good. I hate sleeping on the couch, it's cold out there.  
  
_- Dunno. Think it'll work for you to sleep on the balcony?  
_  
NO!  
  
_- Maybe you'd rather find someone else to study?  
_  
Come on, Jim, you know I'm just kidding.  
  
_- That's pretty much why, right there.  
_  
So it's cruelty. You do it out of cruelty. I see now. It all comes clear.  
  
_- Would I do that?  
_  
Yeah, you would!! That IS what this is, isn't it? You BASTARD!  
  
_- Uh huh_.  
  
You ARE. Listen to my heartbeat, focus in on me. I bet you can hear the blood rushing through my veins.  
  
_- I figured, if you were using it, you'd be sitting there on the couch, instead of snoring in the bed.  
_  
Oh. So that's why YOU'RE the detective, right?  
  
_- See you tonight.  
_  
See you then. I still love you anyway.  
  
Love (See?)  
Blair  
*************************************************   
  



End file.
